If I Close My Eyes Forever

It's funny how music can touch you in such a deep way.  I was sitting at my desk listening to music, and "If I close my eyes forever" by Lita Ford and Ozzy Osbourne came on.  I know what the song is really about, but it resonated in me intensifying my feelings of confusion, and focusing me on the future.

Is it love that's on my mind or is it fantasy?

Baby, I get so scared inside and I don't really understand
Is it love that's on my mind or is it fantasy?
Heaven, is in the palm of my hand and it's waiting here for you
What am I supposed to do with a childhood tragedy?

The future is the topic de jour at the HQ lately.  We have a lot of plans, hopes and dreams, and we are trying to find ways to make them a reality.

I have written stories since I was in the second grade.  In fact, when I was in the third grade, I wrote the third and fourth grade plays.  I even wrote the commencement for my fifth grade graduation.  In sixth grade, I started my first novel.  I wrote my second and third in high school, and my fourth after graduation.  Liquid Sky was my sixth.

I know what I want to do with my life.  I always have.  I know a lot of you feel the same way.  We talk in email about your dreams and ambitions, and how to achieve them.  That is the real problem.

Heaven, is in the palm of my hand

That line is literally true for me.  Writing is my heaven!  I fall into my stories.  I feel the characters highs and lows.  It might be impossible for me to call myself a great writer, but the letters I get about my books show me that they do the most important thing: They connect with readers.

Isn't that what we are all wanting?

• To connect with others.

• To feel like we are alive.

We need to find ways to help each others dreams come true.  To keep our dreams alive!

Sometimes, its hard to hold on

Image by Rampant Gian via Flickr

Sometimes, its hard to hold on, so hard to hold on to my dreams
It isn't always what it seems when you're face to face with me
Like a dagger you stick me in the heart and taste the blood from my blade
And when we sleep would you shelter me in your warm and darkened grave?

It isn't always easy to hold on to our dreams.  The reality of what it takes to achieve our goals can be daunting.

If I had known when I started writing I would be plunged into convention politics and foisted into a position of leadership in a GLBT fan group, I probably would have stopped.  Honestly, sometimes, the thought still overwhelms me.

I have to remember: this is about more than just me.  The group needs an advocate, and if it is not me, then who will it be?

Realizing our dreams/following our bliss is a full-time job.  Most of us already have one of those, and it is not easy to add on a second.  We have to remind ourselves that we are worth it.

Taste the blood from my blade

The harder it is to live our passions, the more important it is to do!

Life thrives on the survival of the fittest.  When we get knocked down, we can either stay down, or bounce back fighting.  Stand up, laugh at the pain, taste the blood on the blade!  That is your life blood.  No one can take it from you without a fight.

Be proud of your dreams!  They course through your veins for a reason.  Passion is life.  If you feel like you have lost your passion, you are wrong.  Someone took it from you.  You need to take it back

Would it all remain unchanged?

If I close my eyes forever
Would it all remain unchanged?
If I close my eyes forever
Would it all remain the same?

If you close your eyes, and leave your passions to the mercies of others, don't be surprised by the vacuum it leaves in your life.

Wake up!  Find some friends who have opened their eyes too (or help them to open theirs) and start moving forward.

The one who leaves the pack is always the one the predators come for, so build yourself another pack.  If your friends put you down, find new friends.  Find a community where people will support you.  You deserve the best life has to offer.  Hunt it out!

Wipe the cobwebs from my eyes

Image by ANDI2..too sad to flickr via Flickr

I know I've been so hard on you
I know I've told you lies
If I could have just one more wish
I'd wipe the cobwebs from my eyes

Standing strong, we have to move past the lies we told ourselves.  It is time to walk forward.  We can get where we need to go together.

With eyes wide open

• What is your heaven?

• What challenges do you face?

• How can we help?