A gathering for speculative and entertainment purposes only.

The Use of the Word Queer

I have had the discussions with many people about the pros and cons of the use Queer. I like how the article on Wikipedia introduces the word:

"The word queer has traditionally meant "strange" or "unusual," but currently it is also often used in reference to gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, intersex, and asexual communities. Its usage is controversial and underwent substantial changes over the course of the 20th century. The term is still considered by some to be offensive and derisive, and by others as a re-appropriated term used to describe a sexual orientation and/or gender identity or gender expression that does not conform to heteronormative society."

Personally, I like the word, but I resonate with the word as a gay man who likes to play with the concept of gender, and well, I am also a self identified freak. I especially like the word when it is compared to Gay... "carefree", "happy", or "bright and showy?" none of those words have never described me.

I would like to know what you think.

Tags: gay, glbt, queer

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Akela on August 24, 2007 at 9:45am: Hmmm...is it okay if I joined this even though I'm straight? Hope so...anyway...

I tend to think that it depends on your perception of self. I use 'gay' to describe homosexual men because that is what I have been taught that they are most comfortable with. I believe that people get to call themselves whatever they want, and if they tell me what it is, I'll use it. :-)

The notion of 'queer' v. 'gay' -- hmmm...hadn't really ever thought about it. I guess I would say that 'queer' to me is someone who is more -- individualistic? -- about his 'gayness', if that makes any sense whatsoever. Someone who is so comfortable with themselves that they DO play with the stereotypes, with the perceptions, with the possibilities. Or, alternately, someone so UNCOMFORTABLE with it that they are victims of the 'best defense is a good offense' theory, and flaunt the stereotypes everywhere they can, to hide their insecurities?

It's an interesting question. And I'm glad to have a place to discuss it. So often, one can't discuss things like race/gender/age/size/hair color/anything with people for fear of offending them...so...thanks, and apologies if my almost total ignorance of the topic offends anyone...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Brian Logee on August 24, 2007 at 12:32pm: Naaa, there is no offense when one exercise conversation on a topic. I know for my self words tend to be words and I only take offense when Hate is put behind the words. This seems to be true in many different cultural groups. Living for 5 years in Oakland, CA I had the nice opportunity to better understand black culture and got to see the world from another perspective. Within that community for most words it is the same thing like the word bitch/ bitches, of course there is alway the context issue but mainly it is the intent behind it. In the gay community we call each other gay, faggy, queer, ect but only when the intention and tone is playful, or as endearment.

It seems through a lot of this depends on personal experience and long standing history. It's probably why the word nigger is still very bad and not to be used but the reclaimed version is slightly different nigga. I guess it has to do with the fact that the word has a long history of hate backed up with pain suffering and death whereas other words don't have such a bloody history that covers an entire community. In a way it lends credit to Carl Young and his philosophy of race memory. hmmmm...; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by cedorsett on August 24, 2007 at 12:45pm: Anyone is welcome here.

One of the reasons I bring this up is that among some GLBT people, Queer is like the N word. To me, it reminds me of Queer Nation, one of the most outspoken GLBT advocacy from the 90's by members of Act Up. They were founded to end the violence against our community. They are the ones who started the slogan, "We're here. We're Queer. Get Used to it."

I think of the Queer Nation Manifestos and the strength of those activists I saw growing up. I am glad to be talking about this too.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Akela on August 28, 2007 at 11:20am: Okay, this is interesting!

For those of us who live in a world that contains (on a daily basis) almost NO GLBT people at all (yes, we do exist), hearing "nigger", "nigga", or "queer" tends to invoke a flinch reaction -- not because we're scared of the words (mostly), but I think because we've been taught that they ARE scary (evil?) for those communities.

Since I've never seen Queer Nation, nor lived in a majority-black community, if I'm walking down the street and I hear someone refer to (or greet) someone else with "nigga", or "queer", I tend to think that I'm about to be in the middle of a fight. "Gay" doesn't invoke the same reaction -- it's 'safe' -- but then, it's rarely used in a joke, or as a greeting -- as far as I know?

I know straight people can tease each other using the word "gay", which might be offensive to the GLBT community? But "queer" and "nigga/nigger" seem to BELONG to their individual communities; they're hands-off words if you're straight. (Okay, straight and not male and 18 and trying to be cool)

It's education, I think. And experience. For myself, since I've not been exposed to the GLBT community, I don't know the 'rules', so I tend to think that each person I meet who's gay, lesbian, etc., is a bit representative of that community. Shallow, I know, but how else do I get information? Walk into Lambda Rising and announce, "Hi, I'm straight, I'm curious, will anyone talk to me about what it's like to be gay?"

And I, for one, tend to be terrified of treading on toes. And that leads to endless second-guessing and incredibly idiotic paranoia. We have ONE gay guy in my office, and I find myself panicked about stupid little things -- whether I should call him "Bill" or "Billy". Everyone seems to call him "Billy", but would that be an insult, overly-familiar? His nameplate says Bill...but will he be insulted if I DON'T call him Billy? And I tend to compliment people when they're wearing nice clothes/jewelry/ties/hairstyles, etc. If I compliment him on a shirt, will he be insulted, thinking I'm feeding into a stereotype, or making fun of him, or something? Or will he be insulted if I compliment everyone but him? Aarrrggghhh!

I agree with Homerswisdom, though; immersian in a community brings about some FASCINATING perspectives. Growing up in an Italian/Irish community in New York state, the word "Bitch" was a SERIOUS insult. Down here in the South, it seems to be a joke/greeting, and people didn't understand why I almost took a swing at them when they decided I'd been one, at first...it still raises my hackles, and I know I've bewildered some people with my reactions to it...maybe it's hard-coded?

Nature v. nurture...vs. hate, maybe? Eric, have you ever used the word "Queer", since you're comfortable with it, and gotten an -- unfortunate -- reaction? If so, what was your reaction to that reaction? (DISCLAIMER: IF THAT (OR ANYTHING I SAY/ASK) IS TOO PERSONAL, PLEASE DISREGARD, AND APOLOGIES IN ADVANCE!)

I've been called a racist for getting a promotion at my job in a majority-black workplace -- that rather floored me, as I was confused about why they thought I'd work there at all if I was a racist -- but I didn't dare ask.

From a GLBT perspective, how do you handle situations where you are made to feel uncomfortable for who you are? Or is every situation too individual to generalize? Have you ever realized that the person didn't mean it, and sought them out afterwards to talk about it?

Grrrrr...I don't even know the right questions to ask! Help! Y'all are the experts! :-)

Is it even APPROPRIATE for me, as a straight, married person, to be curious about what it's like to be gay? I mean, obviously it's none of my business -- but then, 18th-century British History and the interactions of the characters on Star Trek are none of my business either, and I tend to research those. Except that researching those can't hurt anyone, but being curious about the GLBT community can, perhaps? I'm confused again...and, I realize upon rereading, this, massively off topic. Sorry!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by cedorsett on August 29, 2007 at 6:47pm: I have never had a negative response to the word Queer, and I have use it often. I have been in some panels discussing this issue, and the most interesting thing is that women, and non-white gay men often do not identify with the word as much as the white men did. For me, it is fagot that I find to be offensive, not fag, but fagot.

I lost a management job for being a "Fagot," as by employer called me when she fired me, and the only time I was bashed, the men used the word Fagot then too.

Being a believing and practicing catholic, I am in situations rather often where I am made to feel uncomfortable about who I am. I simply stand up and refuse to back down. A person only has dignity if they are willing to stand up for it. If the person is obviously an idiot, I just shake my head rather than waste my time.

To me, it is a good thing to wonder what life is like in other people's shoes. When I lived in Oakland, I came to understand the various communities I lived around, and it is only through direct conversation that we can get anything accomplished.

If more people were more open about their experiences we might be able to get through some of our prejudices. Damali Ayo wrote a very good book on this called How to Rent a Negro. She used satire to discuss the awkwardness we have in the US when dealing with questions of race.

Queer issues are nothing more than issues of Sexism. There is no greater breach of the "traditional gender roles" than for a man to like a man, or for a man to want to dress as a woman. It is our own innate sexism that prevents us from accepting these things with out questioning them. At the same time, if we don't ask the questions, we will never grow. I have been a rent-a-queer often, and especially to my own family, but all liberation movements have to start somewhere.; ▶ Reply to This